James Kenneth Stephen

James Kenneth Stephen was an English poet, known for his satirical verse. Although his career was cut short by mental illness, he is remembered for works such as "Lapsus Calami" and "Quo Musa Tendis." Stephen attended Eton College and King's College, Cambridge, and was a tutor to Prince Albert Victor, son of King Edward VII. His brilliance was overshadowed by speculation regarding his mental health and tragic death at the age of 32.

February 25, 1859

February 3, 1892

English

Cynicus To W. Shakespeare

You wrote a line too much, my sage,
    Of seers the first, and first of sayers;
For only half the world's a stage,
    And only all the women players.

James Kenneth Stephen

Last Ride Together, The

        From Her Point Of View


When I had firmly answered "No,"
And he allowed that that was so,
I really thought I should be free
For good and all from Mr. B.,
    And that he would soberly acquiesce.
I said that it would be discreet
That for awhile we should not meet;
I promised that I would always feel
A kindly interest in his weal;
I thanked him for his amorous zeal;
    In short, I said all I could but "yes."

I said what I'm accustomed to;
I acted as I always do.
I promised he should find in me
A friend, a sister, if that might be;
    But he was still dissatisfied.
He certainly was most polite;
He said exactly what was right,
He acted very properly,
Except indeed for this, that he
Insisted on inviting me
  ...

James Kenneth Stephen

School

If there is a vile, pernicious,
    Wicked and degraded rule,
Tending to debase the vicious,
    And corrupt the harmless fool;
If there is a hateful habit
    Making man a senseless tool,
With the feelings of a rabbit
    And the wisdom of a mule;
It's the rule which inculcates,
It's the habit which dictates
The wrong and sinful practice of going into school.

If there's anything improving
    To an erring sinner's state,
Which is useful in removing
    All the ills of human fate;
If there's any glorious custom
    Which our faults can dissipate,
And can casually thrust 'em
    Out of sight and make us great;
It's the plan by which we shirk
Half our matu-ti-nal work,
The glorious institution of always being late.

     ...

James Kenneth Stephen

Senex To Matt. Prior

Ah! Matt, old age has brought to me
Thy wisdom, less thy certainty;
The world's a jest, and joy's a trinket;
I knew that once, but now I think it.

James Kenneth Stephen

The Millennium

                    TO R. K.


As long I dwell on some stupendous
And tremendous (Heaven defend us!)
Monstr'-inform'-ingens-horrendous
Demoniaco-seraphic
Penman's latest piece of graphic.
                -    Robert Browning    .

Will there never come a season
    Which shall rid us from the curse
Of a prose which knows no reason
    And an unmelodious verse:
When the world shall cease to wonder
    At the genius of an Ass,
And a boy's eccentric blunder
    Shall not bring success to pass:

When mankind shall be delivered
    From the clash of magazines,
And the inkstand shall be shivered
    Into countless smithereens:
When there stands a muzzled stripling,
    Mute, beside a muzzled bore:
When the Rudyards...

James Kenneth Stephen

Thought, A

If all the harm that women have done
Were put in a bundle and rolled into one,
            Earth would not hold it,
            The sky could not enfold it,
It could not be lighted nor warmed by the sun;
            Such masses of evil
            Would puzzle the devil,
And keep him in fuel while Time's wheels run.

But if all the harm that's been done by men
Were doubled, and doubled, and doubled again,
And melted and fused into vapour, and then
Were squared and raised to the power of ten,
There wouldn't be nearly enough, not near,
To keep a small girl for the tenth of a year.

James Kenneth Stephen